Back Home Again

Well, it has been an unexpectedly long absence...

My computer was down for several weeks and then, within days of its return, it was time to leave
for the Balkans once more.

For those of us who live on our computers much of the time, these events can be quite stressful.
They have been in the past whenever I was separated from my laptop and my routines.
This time around, I was surprised to find myself much calmer than usual.
I was initially told that the repair would take 2-3 days at most.  I could live with that. 
A little break is a good thing.  Little did I realize that I would still be waiting 3 weeks later. 
So much to do, yet I was stopped in my tracks at the most inconvenient time.

By now, I have lived long and hard enough to learn that the 'Universe' trumps all in these matters.
In the past, I would have fretted, pushed, gotten angry or indignant.  I would have worried myself sick.

This time around I responded more gracefully.  I slipped out of my old addiction simply and without complaint.  Everything happens for a reason and the unexpected is usually a good thing.
No point in upsetting myself or anyone else over these events.

But what to do with all that time and energy!?  
Well... I would just have to look up and around and perhaps within to see what other life beckoned.
I had half an idea that I might use this opportunity to ditch the TV for the duration, as well.
Most of my reading, too... 
Step into the void for awhile...  Lose the routines...  Create a little growing space...

When I looked up and around me, I saw a whole lot of  disconnect, 
In my comfortable old routines I had managed to not see and neglect my environment. 
There was cleaning to do and tossing of stuff that was extraneous to my life.
It felt good to de-clutter and renew my spaces. 
Then I noticed the disconnect with my body. A perennial concern...lol.
I began to consciously attend to myself...reconnect.
I danced, I communed.  I ate well and rested more.
I let down and released many of my old concerns.
I unburdened myself on every level.

I began to realize that this was all perfect preparation for the trip ahead. 
Clearing my mind and heart for what lay ahead.
Letting myself become rested and still, emptied, pliable and receptive...

I gave some thought to how fragile we humans are...
These wonderful tools...our computers, TVs, cell phones and the like can go
from being timesavers and conveniences to becoming obsessions and addictions. 
What is meant to serve us begins to master us instead.
We lose touch with our essential selves.
We even begin to think that time and energy spent this way IS real life.
If nothing else, it seems to become a satisfactory enough substitution...

That is why I have learned to appreciate these times of uncoupling and unplugging.
Our addictions are broken up periodically and we get to reconnect in a healthy way.
Awareness returns and we slip out of our little trances.
The societal trances that say that we must all be twittering and facebooking,
texting and sexting, exhausting ourselves with endless chatter and involvement.
Our family, work and personal trances that call for too much busyness,
too much self-criticism and self- improvement.
These are ideas that drum relentlessly in people's heads.
Other people's opinions that rob us of the simple peace and happiness of being here,
of being alive, of just living...without obligation, pressure and guilt.

Before you know it we are living "out there"  instead of living "in here"...in our centers.
Our lives are being orchestrated for us...rather than being directed by our own awareness
and the desires of our own true selves.

We have to wrestle ourselves out of the grip of the society we find ourselves in periodically.
In the world, but not of the world... 
Pilgrims, Gypsies, Exiles all....
Recovering, protecting and preserving our Gypsy souls...and, above all, expressing them.

so many blessings dear Gypsies...