I was inspired by this blog and after telling my good friend that she should "cast away"
for the weekend, I realized I should too...
Picture me eating my own advice for breakfast. It happens often!
So I did. In my own little way, I cast off.
I powered down my phone, unplugged my computer, and let myself have the weekend
away from anything I did not want to do....no obligations....none.
Even more importantly...
I gave myself permission to not keep company with anyone who I did not want to see.
This kept things really quiet.
I realized how nice it was to sail this little boat into clear waters all alone
and get a new view on my horizon.
I told my husband that I needed to take a little break from listening to people
talk about themselves.
So much more of that goes on than I realized! And I let it. And I kind of liked it.
You see. I don't have to deal with my own stuff if all we ever talk about is theirs...
I realized that is a pretty big key, that last little observation of imbalance.
I've encouraged and even sought out relationships that are slanted that way.
This weekend I began to understand that I did this because in so many ways it allowed me
to keep myself from being vulnerable, and real, and PRESENT.
Even though not very healthy, these never-quite-mutual arrangements worked for me.
They allowed me to feel good and needed, and connected to others without as much risk
or investment of my own self, or honoring of my own needs and shadows.
After taking some time by myself this weekend, alone finally in my home and in my head,
I realized that it is time...
It is time to untangle these ropes I've strung between our boats
and to know we must chart our own courses.
I need space and freedom and so do my traveling companions.
My gypsy heart is demanding it. Deep down, I'm guessing their gypsy hearts are too.
To the open sea I go. Ropes cut. It's time!
-Miss Tick
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